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There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'. Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"

A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
Q: What kind of snake is good at math? A: An adder.
What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog? A fangfurther.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until he's finished.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ? A boa constructor !
What's a snake's favourite food ? Hiss Cakes !
Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ? Because he had his own scales !
What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks, I'll just have a sliver !
What is another word for a python ? A mega-bite !
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